[ He could talk about crowds, how he can follow a mark in one, use one to get away, how they can be used against him too. But he doesn't think that's quite what Carver is getting at. ]
No. I think of them like a tool. You?
[ It feels delicate to turn the question back since he thinks he knows the answer, but maybe Carver wants to make a conversation out of it. Maybe it's something they can talk about. ]
[ He's... a bit surprised to get honesty back, even if it's what he expected. It felt like a tossup of whether Carver would just brush it off; admitting something like that is hard. John's not sure he would. ]
I didn't used to like them. CIA taught me differently. I had to learn how to use them for a job. When was the last time you saw more than a handful of people before you arrived here?
[ John is not the right person to solve this problem. He doesn't even know how so solve his own problems. He's about to suggest that Harold could find some books, but... ]
Want me to see if there are any books at the library?
[ Harold might know the most about the contents of the library, but surely John can do his own research. It's not like he hasn't been cleaning it top to bottom for months now, he knows a lot more about it than he used to. ]
I found two that look promising. We have someone who staffs the front desk sometimes so I've left them in the section on Chinese history, four rows in from the northwest corner of the third floor. Look for "Specific Phobias" and "The Body Keeps the Score". The emergency exit alarm was disabled a while ago so you can leave that way if Barbara is at the desk.
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Dodge if he throws a knife at you.
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Let me know what I can do to help.
[ Carver's brother isn't part of the team (yet, perhaps) but Carver is. ]
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[ He's tempted to leave it at that. But there are questions nagging. Carver types and retypes the message several times.
Then: ]
You ever have problems with crowds?
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No. I think of them like a tool. You?
[ It feels delicate to turn the question back since he thinks he knows the answer, but maybe Carver wants to make a conversation out of it. Maybe it's something they can talk about. ]
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I don't think I can do them anymore
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I didn't used to like them. CIA taught me differently. I had to learn how to use them for a job. When was the last time you saw more than a handful of people before you arrived here?
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I don't know. Probably like eight years.
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[ He's trying to reassure Carver that it's not a personal failing, it's normal. Of course he can't do crowds anymore. ]
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Want me to see if there are any books at the library?
[ Harold might know the most about the contents of the library, but surely John can do his own research. It's not like he hasn't been cleaning it top to bottom for months now, he knows a lot more about it than he used to. ]
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Yeah
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I found two that look promising. We have someone who staffs the front desk sometimes so I've left them in the section on Chinese history, four rows in from the northwest corner of the third floor. Look for "Specific Phobias" and "The Body Keeps the Score". The emergency exit alarm was disabled a while ago so you can leave that way if Barbara is at the desk.
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Carver sits with that for a while. He almost doesn't reply.
Then: ]
Okay.
I won't disturb her
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[ John was trying to be considerate and not make Carver talk to anyone about the books, but maybe it didn't need to be a secret. ]
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[ That might be part of the problem. ]
I'll read them.
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Thank you
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[ John's not going to ask any questions about it. That's Carver's business. He's put his offer out there and Carver can take it or leave it. ]